The Choice
by Hobbit
Summary: Tired of all those sappy Ash and Misty romance fics? how about all those cliched Ash and May fics? Well, here's one that pokes fun at both genres, while operating in both simaltaneously, and has an amusing twist at the end to boot. ONE-SHOT


The Choice

"Ash," came the impatient voice, "You need to make a choice." That's Misty. My one-time best friend. She left to go tend to the Cerulean City Gym, then came back to me a week ago, and we've been best friends again.

Anyway, I heard her voice, but I wasn't. you know how that goes? You hear something, but you tune it out, without meaning to, even if it's really important. Like this was.

"Yes Ash," the other voice said. She sounded a bit more annoyed. "Choose. Which of us will it be?" That would be May. She was another good friend of mine, and we too were best friends, even though she wanted to be a Coordinator Contestant. Or...was it something else? Meh, she'll tell me again next time I ask.

What are they asking me to choose, you ask? Well, the answer is simple, but the explanation is complex. Maybe I should explain...

It all started a week ago. I had returned to Pallet Town, and May was coming later that day. She had agreed to stay back in Slateport to get Brock out of jail for flirting with his judge when he was trying to get out of a ticket.

It figures. Who else would be so stupid as to bring a dozen roses to the court room, then ask the judge out. And getting the roses was what got him the ticket in the first place.

Anyway, I was back home, and I was doing what I did best. Sitting in my easy chair, smoking a pipe in a robe and slippers while reading the paper.

No. Seriously. That's BORing...

I was getting tromped for the one hundredth consecutive time by Pikachu on this Pokemon battling game. I mean, I should be the one winning, right? I win most of my matches, so why in the world did-sorry. I promised both Misty and May I wouldn't start up on that again.

Anyway, Duplica showed up-Oh yeah, she's been helping my mom with stuff around the house, apparently. Something about the Ditto being a good garbage disposal.

I don't want to say that my mom isn't a good cook, but when she used to cook stuff for me, there weren't Pokemon in a five hundred yard radius around the house.

Duplica informed me that there was a welcome back party for me at Oak's Lab, and that I should get out there pretty quickly. Soemthing about me being an of guest honor. Er, behest of goner? I dunno. I tried to ask her what she meant, but she got all mad for some reason and told me to go to the Lab.

That's where I met Misty again. She had been waiting for me outside, and gave me a big hug (and fifty bucks to buy something with!). She said that it was good to see me, and I better buy the stupid bike (my words, hers were much stronger) with it.

I laughed and pocketed the money, already imagining myself riding down the street on that bike I'd seen in the store up the road. I can't believe that Misty told me to get something for me. Usually, she bugs me about the bike of hers that I broke.

Anyway, we went inside, and I was treated like somebody really important. All this did, however, was keep me away from all the cake they had set up. This was probably a conspiracy, although I was able to snatch a few brownies and cookies.

Then, after a couple speeches I wasn't listening to, because I was staring at the cake, I made my way over to it, but Misty asked me to dance JUST as I was gonna pick up a piece.

Stupid slow dances...

Yeah, it was a slow dance, and May and Brock came in right then, and May got really mad for some reason, and charged Misty, and tackled her. It was a terrible fight. Hair was pulled, arms bitten, black eyes givenI just wish that I hadn't been on the recieving end of it all.

They both seemed to think that I should be ashamed of myself. No clue why, though. They kept saying something about me should have known something.

Well, all I can say to that is that they obviously don't know me very well. I don't get a whole lot of what people are saying, unless it's lines for different kind of the four "K"s. Cookies, Cake, and Chips. The staples of Kantan life.

Well, I guess I can skip a whole lot, and say that after about ten minutes, I finally got to get at some cake, while the girls were doing their Fighting type impression behind me.

I heard Duplica in the background yelling for Misty and May to stop. Actually, it sounded like she was doing a lot more than just yelling.

For some reason, Brock and several other guys were cheering. Not sure why. Maybe it was because they saw how fast I ate three whole cakes. And two pecan pies. and five trays of brownies. Pikachu beat me to the third pecan pie, but I beat him to the ketchup reserves.

Anyway, when the food was gone, I turned around to find that May and Misty, their nice dresses all torn up, were now arm wrestling for soemthing. Misty won that.

They had a Pokemon battle for whatever it was for.

Misty.

They had a beauty pageant.

Giselle won.

Of course, Brock was the judge, and he was flirting with her instead of watching everyone else, but that wasn't the point. He's got a thicker skull than her Cubone.

Anyway, that brings us up to today, really. For the past seven days they've eben doing stuff for me. I drew the line at helping me in the bathroom and helping me get dressed. But everything else, practically, is done for me.

Now they want me to choose between them for who I like better. That's easy. There's only been one person that I've always had a crush on since the first time I met her.

"So?" Misty asked me, "Why did you tell us all that?" she demanded, "We knew all that! We just want your answer! We didn't need a rundown of what's been happening this last week. We were here. Then as well as now."

Okay, so Iv'e got no clue what she just meant. If then was then, then at some point backthen it would have been now. But if it had been now, it would cease to be then. But then, if it was now, then then would be somewhere else. It's impossible to have both at the same time.

"Yeah," May said, "That was annoying. I mean, that whole time, you were just thinking about food? And you didn't have to tell me what Brock was in jail for. Took most of my Contest money to post bail."

Meh. Girls. What do they know about the fine literary art of belching?

wait. We were discussing belching, right?

oh, right. the choice.

Well, on the one hand, Misty's the more interesting person to be with, smashes me with a mallet (it actually feels quite good once you get used to it. I'm told.), and shouts at me all the time.

But on the other hand, there's May. Plain, fun-loving, never mean, always nice May.

of course, the choice is obvious, and I told them that I'd reached a decision. They both leaned forward, and it was then I noticed that May had adopted Misty's style of mallet. They both looked the same.

Wait, had May had a mallet before?

Like I said before, I told them, there's only one person that I've had a crush on my entire life, and who I might want to marry some day. And so I told them my decision. For some reason, the attacked me again.

No clue why. Duplica seemed pretty happy that I picked her, though.


End file.
